Care and feeding of Topbit

Written 9th August, 2007 ahead of Bicon.

  • Topbit is a tall (6’4”, 193cm) poly/boy/geek, unless he decides to be something else in which case he will still be at least 6’4”. Native dress is usually jeans and a T-shirt that may be found funny if you know the difference between TKIP, tcpip and other esoterica.

  • Feeding: Topbit is an Omnivore, though is less keen on fancy (like pineapples on his pizza), or particularly spicy food. While he thinks that food (even vegetables) should be treated appropriately, he has no problem being at the top of the food chain and would invite anything that would attempt to knock him from that position to a BBQ where it will be served in a bun with some side-salad. Large, strong coffee is also a good idea - complete with some form of breakfast ideally - to help kick-start a Topbit in the woken-by-the-day-star period sometime between 9 and 11am (exact time depending on events due at that time). Insufficiently caffeinated Topbits may present a minor hazard with some presenting of grumpiness symptoms and slow physical response. Relevant intake of foodstuffs on an appropriate schedule will help ensure smooth running of systems.

  • Topbit’s native habitat is behind a desk and he can go for days between actual human contact (literally, in the last few months I’ve barely been outside for nearly a week at a stretch several times). Having so much such interpersonal contact squeezed into around 4 days (Thurs PM to Monday AM) can leave him a little ragged sometimes, though, like sleep, this can be held in abeyance for some hours (even occasionally days) before increasing symptoms of irritability show, or by being handled in a more appropriate fashion such as sleep and quiet time. Having such rest periods interrupted for non-emergencies will just piss him off ;)

  • Party Calmly. Topbit is not a party animal, and while may enjoy visiting such parties they are transient things to relax within the surroundings of finding cute people and not to attempt much in the way of conversation since he can’t hear people, and so will likely just nod and smile occasionally. This species does not self-medicate with anything other than caffeine (and occasionally over-the-counter medication, where conditions especially require).

  • important to know * While he is as introverted as that all sounds, Topbit does generally make the effort to be friendly and talk to a number of new faces when the opportunity presents, and will also usually talk to old faces - though he may not remember your name. flirtblind-ness is still a regular problem however, and so additional clarity in these matters is appreciated. [you may be cute…] Topbit does think that a number of people that he has seen in the past are quite cute and would like to know far better, but may be too shy in the regular course of events to come forward to admit it. Asking a straight question will get a similar straight answer in the vast majority of events.

  • important to know * Support of others - in the (majority) periods that Topbit has had sufficient sleep/rest/food he will happily provide hugs, escorting to places of quietness and comforting sounds. Advance suggestion that such would often be useful from most (rather than an unexpected body-hug) is appreciated, but is unlikely to be refused unless energy reserves are particularly low. (See also the ‘you may be cute…’ in the paragraph above).

Topbit has been talking about himself in the third person for this style of explanation for some years and is only a little less confused than when he started.

(The original of this post (with comments) is also linked from